Home

After around 27 straight hours of travel we are finally home. We left for Guangzhou airport around 0740 am in the morning and arrived at Nashville airport around 1030 pm the next day (although it was the same day, Friday, for us). Maddox did very well, overall. We had our first true tantrum on our first flight and Stephanie and I were thoroughly embarrassed! The long flight was better and we actually slipped him some Benadryl to ensure a nice deep sleep, which worked beautifully. We had a great flight attendant who showed me an empty aisle seat several rows back which allowed Maddox to then stretch out and sleep across two seats with Stephanie leaned up against the window and her legs across the ends of the other two seats to keep Maddox from rolling off. We all three got a lot of sleep on that flight.

My mom, Stephanie's parents, Stephanie's brother and sister, and our friend Heather were waiting at the Nashville airport when we arrived. We must have been a site for sore eyes! I had a sippy cup between my legs when we took off in Newark for the last leg of our trip and dozed off. The drop in cabin pressure caused the fluid to slowly bubble out of the "closed" straw and when I woke up I had milk all over my pants in a pattern that looked like I had wet myself. When I got off, I put my coat on, but that did not cover up all of the stain. Maddox had had a leaky poop in Newark which got on his sweatshirt during the change, so he had on Stephanie's pink denim jacket with the sleeves rolled way up! We were ragged and worn out, but soooo glad to be home.

We had a wonderful homecoming with many hugs, pictures, and gifts. When we pulled out of the airport it was around midnight, but to us it felt like noon. We were hungry, so we went to Waffle House for Maddox's first restaurant visit in the U.S.! He gobble up a waffle and eggs and charmed the servers.

Maddox loves the apartment. He runs around and plays with all of his many toys with smiles on his face. We are looking forward to rest and getting to watch Maddox go and grow here with us! Thanks again to everyone for your prayers and support. Love, J, S, and M

Our last day in Guangzhou

Today was our last full day in Guangzhou. We are coming home tomorrow! I got sick last night after we ate out - traveler's diarrhea, I think. I started some cipro but am still not feeling well tonight. Stephanie and Maddox went on the tour of one of the temples here and had a good time while I rested.

We had a birthday party at lunch since 4 of the 5 Hendersons (another CWA family here with us) have birthdays in late February or early March. After that, we went to the swearing in ceremony where we took an oath in front of the consulate that we had provided accurate information to the government and would take care of our children. Then, it was official, we have Maddox's entry visa and as soon as he sets foot on U.S. soil, he is a citizen of our country! Our oath ceremony was particularly special. The time of the oath is usually around 4pm, but we had been told that ours was moved up to around 2pm because the acting ambassador to China was visiting the consulate. He was introduced and personally administered the oath to all of us! It was neat because he had been working in Beijing for many years and had personally been involved in making international adoption from China possible. He himself has served as a foster parent to a Chinese orphan here. He read out a list of families who were there today and had adopted multiple children and the other 3 families we are traveling with were honored. Another family was completing its fourth Chinese adoption! We got to shake his hand and thank him afterwards.

This afternoon, we dressed him up in a formal silk outfit we had gotten him. He wore it for a while and enjoyed having his picture taken in our room. However, when we tried to sit him on the couch next to the other kids for group photos we had a meltdown. I think having portraits made of this kid is going to be tough. We finally compromised and left him in the stroller which he liked better.

Tonight we are busy packing and saying our goodbyes. We can't wait to see everybody back in the states! J, S, and M.

Shopping fun

Today we woke up early because daddy had to go to the U.S. consulate and fill out some paperwork. Stephanie and Maddox played together in a cute little playroom in the hotel. Maddox is still pretty shy around other kids and people but he is really coming out of his shell when he is with us. He talks a lot now, most of which sounds like babble. He does say mama and dada and car and a few other words we can make out.

This morning was marked by stroll on the beautiful streets near our hotel. Here, there are blocks and blocks of stone paved sidewalks through beautiful parks. The trees are old and beautiful with long spindly roots that droop off of the limbs like Spanish moss. We included a much needed trip to Starbucks where we had much fun and much caffeine.

We had lunch with the other three families in an interesting restaurant that had a seafood market in the front. There were many large tanks filled with all sorts of exotic sea creatures, including "sand worms", sea urchins, and eel. Fortunately, the meal was less exotic yet delicious. We then went shopping! First we went to a huge market that had mostly clothes and jewelry. The size of these shopping venues is astounding. There were people everywhere, yet it felt safe. Maddox did well and enjoyed rolling around in his stroller. Next, we went to an electronics market. This consisted of shop upon shop upon shop selling everything electronic you can imagine. Some of the deals were pretty good, especially on products from Japan. Wii games were about 80 cents each! Unfortunately, they only work in Chinese or Korean Wiis, so I wasn't able to take advantage of those deals. We changed Maddox on top of a trash can there! We are becoming quite versatile in our diaper changing abilities.

The end of our trip is drawing near. We are having a great time in Guangzhou and I will actually be sad to leave here. All of the families have commented on how great it must be to adopt a child from this Provence and get to stay at the White Swan the whole time.

Blessings and love, J, S & M.

Strollers may be the greatest thing ever invented

First, let me thank all of you for your devoted prayers. We felt an amazing burst of energy today, like we had been given new bodies! Everything seemed to go well today and we know that the Lord lifted our spirits.

Second, let me say thank you for continuing to read what I believe has become a kind of strange blog, now that I look back at it. We are in a unique situation, trying to learn how to be parents, learn how to parent a 2 year old, learn how to parent an adopted child who likely has an overwhelming amount of emotional scarring and baggage in his past, AND do all of this in a foreign country in a hotel. When I sit down to write at night I usually just let whatever is in my head flow onto the page and then I use the pictures of the day to remind me of some other things to include. What is in my head each night just happens to be the questions and answers to the learning processes listed above. This is also the only way we are directly communicating with our families. As a result of all of this, the blog has become part story telling, part sounding board for parenting questions, and part direct comments to friends and family. I have gotten such great responses with ideas, encouragement, and the like. Again, thank you.

Third, let me announce that today is Stephanie's birthday! Happy birthday Stephanie! Thanks for the email and facebook posts wishing her well. The four CWA families all sang to her tonight on the tour bus and our tour guide then sang to her in Chinese (he's a pretty good singer!) Stephanie had a merchant give her a free bracelet and our guide had a birthday cake brought up to the room tonight which was great. Her biggest present, of course, is the little boy in her arms!

Today was a great day. We got up and had a delicious buffet breakfast in the White Swan Hotel. Cheese eggs, bacon, and French toast were all hits with Maddox! We had heard that one of the nearby stores offered strollers to borrow while families stayed in the hotel. The idea, of course, is that you will come back and buy things and maybe even buy the stroller. We weren't sure how this would go over with Maddox, but we had a successful high chair meal at breakfast so we were hopeful. Stephanie went out and got a stroller and with a little apple juice we settled Maddox right in. As you may have guessed, he loved the stroller. I have decided that strollers are one of the greatest inventions in the world and am hereby saying that I have, until now, grossly under appreciated their value!

We went to his medical exam, in which Stephanie and I were keenly interested. They did a fairly cursory exam but pronounced him good to go. He did not enjoy it too much. They doctors were very nice and very, very good with him. He is still a little boy, only 10.6 kg at 23 months. We are packing on the calories (see breakfast comment above), so hopefully that will start to change soon!

We walked around in a stroller for a while and he fell asleep. It was only 1130 and we hadn't fed him lunch yet. Oh no! This was not on schedule! We had just arrived at a patio restaurant with 2 of the other couples so we asked a veteran mom what to do. She wisely said "let him sleep". Excellent choice. We ate and he slept for about 1 hour. He woke up and we got grilled cheese "to go" for him which he devoured later. We filled out a lot of paperwork in preparation for our return U.S. visas and I felt a huge weight lifted off my back (we have been carrying around all of these documents and safeguarding them like they were made of gold, so it was nice to turn them over to our guide, finally). We shopped this afternoon and got Maddox a couple of new toys. He is so happy and so well behaved. We are so blessed to have such a great child.

Love and blessings to you all! JP

P.S. we have now taken over 700 pictures in China!

Guangzhou

Today was a busy day but was infinitely more successful in terms of schedule and sleep. We put our plan into action and kept Maddox up all morning. By lunchtime, he was rubbing his eyes constantly and fighting off sleep with all his might. He still required a little walking and holding but went to sleep quickly. He slept for 1.5 hours and we woke him up just as we were loading our bags onto the bellhop's luggage cart to leave Taiyuan. He probably needed a little more than that, but we were SO glad that we got what we did. The properly timed nap paid huge dividends.

He sat in his own seat on the plane and accepted the seat belt when he saw that Mommy and Daddy had to wear one, too. He ate snacks and for the first time spontaneously signed more when he wanted more. We were very excited about that! The picture is a little dark because I used an action mode without the flash, but hopefully you can see him putting his hands together with the fingers of each hand bundled. We are having trouble getting him to learn the sign for food because often when he is hungry he is tearful and we are rushing to get the snacks and don't have the chance to sign it (tough to teach a crying toddler). On the plane he played with his toys and played with Play-Doh which turned out to be a big hit. An extra special thanks to Kris who put together a BRILLIANT toy bag with all sorts of variety that has kept us going. That brings me to another new item about Maddox: he gets bored now. He soaks up every ounce of stimulation he can. But we are, for the first time, seeing him get bored with certain toys and certain types of play. So, we are glad for the impressive variety Kris included (you would think she has had boys this age, oh wait, she does!)

We arrived in Guangzhou today and it is paradise... It seems to be a very westernized, modern city. All traffic rules are obeyed here which is in sharp contrast to Taiyuan. Our guide speaks excellent English which is a desperately welcomed change from what we had in Taiyuan. We are in a beautiful room on the 11th floor of the White Swan Hotel (which many of you will know about from the books), right next to 2 other families who are also using CWA, the Hendersons and the Millers. We chatted with them on the tour bus (yes, tour bus) on our way to the hotel from the airport and they are going to be great friends. They referred to us as "the young married couple" and rightly guessed that we could not have been far over the lower age limit of 30 to adopt in China. We were on the bus during Maddox's bedtime which brought some tears, but we relieved those with Cheerios. We finally got him up in the bath (which he absolutely loves) and then to bed. We started out with him in one of our beds before the hotel staff brought a cute wooden crib for us. The top half of one of the railing sides drops down making the top of the railing line up perfectly with the top of the bed. The crib has an abacus on the other rail for playing. What a great crib...

Thank you for your dedicated prayers, posts, and emails. We crave the emails and read them all the time. I am about to fall asleep right now but your encouraging words keep me blogging. Tomorrow is the medical exam. In Christ, JP.

Sleep

There is an entire book chapter devoted to sleep in our adoption parenting book and we are finding out why. Sleep has become an ordeal that involves much crying and requires us to carry and walk him which is backbreaking.

We've identified 2 problems hurting us in this area. The first big problem is Maddox's schedule. We were given a copy of his orphanage schedule and at the 1230 slot it was translated to "have a snap". Stephanie and I BOTH interpreted this as have a snack, but we were wrong. This meant take a nap of course. We had been trying naps at 10 am and 2 pm. The 10 am one was working out OK, but he still took some walking and holding to fall asleep. The 2 pm one was NOT working. We now know that he only was taking one nap at the orphanage, and it's after lunch.

The second big problem has been the schedule of our activities. Every day we have something at 10 am and don't get back until 2:30 at the earliest. Maddox ends up just dozing of in the car but having no real naptime. Today our only activity was an amusement park at 3:30 so we tried our 10 am and 2 pm today with all our might, but he bested us. Then of course, we re-examined the schedule and realized our mistake. So, tomorrow we will try to keep him up all morning then for nap after lunch (please work).

Stephanie and I are getting tired. We feel like we are just about at our wits end now. Between trying to incorporate a 23 month old into your family, learn his schedule, and live in a hotel without any of the comforts and conveniences of home, we are about to lose our minds. Every meal now seems sort of stressful. Tonight, we went to the "western" restaurant and had a good comforting meal of baked chicken, tossed salad, and fries. That helped. Maddox does great at meal time (he sits and eats and never makes a peep) but still sits on our laps which makes things tough to navigate. We are ready to come home, but hopefully Guangzhou will be somewhat easier since we will be in a hotel with other adoptive families. Also, Guangzhou apparently has some western restaurants and things that may help things feel more like home (I am ready for some Starbucks). Don't misunderstand me, the food here is delicious. It is just what the palates are used to that you want in stressful situations, I'm afraid, and ours are calling for good old American.

Some great things happened today. When he is rested, playtime goes really well. There is much interest in shoes of all kinds. We are pretty sure he has learned that word. When we were ready to go to dinner tonight, we told him to go get his shoes and he walked into the bathroom (where he had put his shoes under the toilet), got his shoes, came out to Stephanie, sat down and put his feet up in the air. Such a smart boy. We also fed him an ice cream sundae from McDonald's which was fun to watch. Kris, we broke out the farm animals today and he was thoroughly entertained by them. We still have Play-Doh and crayons in the hole...

Tonight, Maddox said his prayers (via us) and thanked God for his family and each and every one of you! Tomorrow, we fly out for Guangzhou on a 3:50 pm flight. Love, J and S.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Today Maddox turned 23 months old. We are now seeing his precious personality show itself. It is hard to explain how much he changes each day. Today was almost like having a different child than the day before, and so on. Today we went to the zoo, which was fun. The zoo was fairly new and quite large, but really not much to speak of as zoos go. We did see a giant panda, which was a treat. The panda was in a nondescript concrete building with just some water and a few sticks of bamboo. Obviously, it was too cold for him/her to be outside right now. But, Stephanie and I noted that when a giant panda is in the states, it tends to be treated like royalty (at least the way I remember them at the Atlanta Zoo).

The zoo trip couldn't have fallen on a better day, because Maddox is really showing interest in his world now. He was wandering around in the hotel room this morning investigating everything. At the zoo, he was interested in the panda, elephants, and monkeys. We fed the monkeys from our hands but every time we tried to get Maddox to feed them he tried to eat the food himself! He fell asleep about halfway through which is about the time we came to the petting zoo section (so wish our guide would have taken us there first!).

We had a delicious lunch but I found out that diapers can only hold so much urine before even the best leak. For some reason I had this idea that as long as a diaper was on, we were in good shape. Not so, my dear Pirkle. Ahh my naivite'... I can hear all the parents out there laughing right now. Stephanie wanted to change Maddox in the car on the way to the restaurant and I said, no let's just wait until we get there. Well, when we got there and Maddox woke up from his nap, he promptly emptied his bladder again. So, we had a leak through a onesy (sp?), pajama pants, and khakis with no extra pants in our diaper bag. Stephanie's jeans and my shirt took hits too. So, now I know, must change when wet or next wet may be bad. Our friends from Louisiana, Marty and Tiffany, who received their son Keagan at the same time we received Maddox, blogged about how Keagan used the western style toilet in the hotel right when they sat him on it. Sounded like a great idea to us, so we are trying that now (no success yet, but he is actually much less scared of that than the little potty we bought for him that did not work out).

A funny adoption note: we were warned, and all the books mention, that older Chinese women will comment on how the child is dressed, specifically, that he/she needs to be bundled up and have more clothes on. Well, we have now experienced those comments from both sides of the coin. The first was on the second day we had Maddox when we returned to the government office to finalize the adoption. We had him bundled to the hilt but did not take off his coat inside (we thought it was still pretty chilly in there). The older woman from the orphanage quickly reprimanded us and told us to take that coat off, that he was too hot! Then, once on the street in Taiyuan, a stranger came up to us with a very serious look on her face and pointed out that his pants had ridden up and some skin above his socks was exposed! Yikes, you would think we were the worst parents in the world.

Maddox has said several words, but not consistently. We have heard "mama", "dada", and "more" for sure. We are trying to teach him the baby sign language to help and he has picked it up. He can sign for "more" and "all done" now. We also taught him to "give me five" today, which he liked very much. I think that he used to associate clapping with someone asking him to come to him/her. Whenever we clap he comes over and holds up his arms to be picked up. We are trying to hold our hands down and clap and say "yeah" when we clap so he knows it is for praise and not a request.

This afternoon was a roller coaster (thus the best and worst). He was well rested after his morning zoo nap, so early afternoon play was great, lots and lots of running, laughing, exploring, looking at himself in the mirror. He even got between a bed and the wall in a little place only he could fit and was thrilled with himself! He chased us, we chased him, he rode on my back like a horse and rode on my shoulders. He carries his shoes around a lot and even spent 20 minutes playing with the do not disturb sign, carrying it from the door to me to Stephanie and back again.

We were unsuccessful with afternoon nap, however and things got tough. He was so sleepy but we couldn't get him to nod off. He was sleepy for the rest of the day and was more tearful tonight at times. But, it was a good toddler tearful if that makes sense. Not the previous pitiful, terrified tearful. He was tired and that was that. We did have another good bath time to close out the day. Going to sleep was tough tonight - for the first time he didn't just let us lay him down, he cried and we had to stand and hold him until he was asleep. I know, I know, I shouldn't complain - but we had gotten spoiled with the ease of the first 2 nights.

What we are so thankful for is that all of these things, the ups and downs, mean that his real personality is coming through. We know that this is a huge blessing because many children do not attach this quickly (he CRAVES close contact, cheek to cheek) and many children may not open up for weeks. We know that the Lord has heard your prayers and ours and has truly blessed our family.

Thank you again for all the encouraging email and fb posts. Sorry we do not always respond but we spend all our time looking at our beautiful boy. JP and SP

Making Strides

Today we saw Maddox really start to open up. I think he is feeling better physically and feeling like he can risk relaxing and enjoying himself some. That must take a lot when you think about this adoption from his point of view. We have started to get into a routine in the mornings. The problem with staying in a nice hotel is that the breakfast downstairs is at a nice restaurant and Stephanie and I need to be showered and dressed fairly nicely before we go down. Maddox, however, is hungry right when he wakes up! So, we usually get up a little earlier than he does and Stephanie starts getting ready. If he wakes up before she is done, I will start him on some milk. Then Stephanie will feed him some Cheerios or other snacks while I get ready. This morning Maddox fed Stephanie the trail mix items he didn't want!

We went to a museum which was interesting for us but not so much for him. After the comments from the last post I will definitely spare you the details, but we did see some beautiful artifacts from ancient Chinese culture. Stephanie took a hip hammock thing we got at Pottery Barn which was a LIFE SAVER. Maddox wouldn't tolerate a stroller yet (he has to be attached to one of us in public), so we had to carry him for 2.5 hours. I was even a skeptic of this hip hammock, but it worked very well. He didn't make a peep and even napped some during the tour. No flash photography allowed there so I don't have any pictures.

After that we ate at a nice hotel restaurant and tried Maddox in his first highchair. Eating has progressed from our feeding him chopstick to mouth to cutting up food for him that he can hand feed from his own plate.He did pretty well, but got clingy toward the end and we had to move him to the lap. Part of the problem was that the waitresses were making such a fuss over him. You have got to realize that we are stared at by everyone everywhere we go, and there are a lot of people here to stare! When we are in restaurants or stores or almost anywhere people come up and want to smile at Maddox and some offer to hold him. He is taking it well, though. We say "ni hao" (hello) and he waves at them with a cute little pageant queen type wave. Then they all smile and laugh and seem to approve. When we leave we say "zai jian" (goodbye) and he waves again. So cute...

We went to a Wal Mart today to get some Pampers, snacks, and a few clothes for him. Fortunately, we hit a home run with the snacks and found these little round toasted bread treats that taste kind of like animal crackers. These have become even more popular than the Cheerios, so I think we will be OK.

This afternoon, we saw Maddox make great strides. We started putting him down in the hotel and in other places where he feels safe and walking with him holding our hands. In the room, we played a game where he would walk back and forth between Stephanie and me to get Cheerios that we had for him. He smiled and laughed and really enjoyed it. More good tickling and laughing and just a lot more smiling in general.

The nasal suction process has really become entertaining. He actually likes it and leans in whenever Stephanie gets it out to use it on him. He then takes his own Kleenex and wipes his nose and face. During one of our playtimes today, he took the suction and put it up to his own nose! Our little future doctor... He is very meticulous and deliberate with his play. Today he took Kleenex and tore it into little pieces and stacked a tower on top of his sippy cup. He always likes things to be perfectly aligned and he doesn't like the food on his plate to touch.

The day ended with bath time which was scary for him the first 2 nights. This time we took our time and introduced a little blue whale bath toy. Well, that was just the thing. Maddox played and played with it. He splashed around and had a great time in the tub. He has probably never had a chance to splash water or enjoy a bath. I think bath time will be a big hit from now on. He took the blue whale to bed with him... Well, that's all for today, please continue to pray for us! JP